hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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