I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
