so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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