Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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