I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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