I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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