I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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