Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
