I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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