Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize