But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
