Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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