Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
