The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
