so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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