I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
