dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
