My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
