so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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