now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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