Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
that is very illegal...i love you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
