we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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