Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
