I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize