is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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