he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this just has baby written all over it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
