I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
