I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
