tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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