just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
grandma shit on top of the toilet
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
