no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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