I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
