It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
