I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
