I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
