Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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