Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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