im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
