sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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