whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
