A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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