i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
