what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
