yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
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