remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
