You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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