C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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