I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
