i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
