why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
