Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
