thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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