My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
