One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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