Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
