So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
