Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
