You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
