holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
