Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
