this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
